Vigilante, Effort

I was thinking about the people that are in our lives and how they affect us, how they influence us, and how they change us for better and for worse; and, honestly, I haven’t been thinking about this all that long, at least in the scope of this column, although it is something that crosses my mind a good bit.

It’s fascinating to me how people relate to one another. Why people fall in love and why someone might not like a person, for no particular reason, they just don’t like them, and also how a person might willfully deceive another, it’s interesting telling the story of the people in our lives that have left a scar; the people who, for whatever reason, were a negative influence. I’ve had a number of those people in my life and, it’s difficult but important to acknowledge, the people who I may have negatively affected.

I started thinking about this, in the scope of today’s column, last night while I was writing a note to someone who is incredibly important to me, I was, kind of, addressing it in an indistinct way—not precise—I ended up scraping it, the note, because I kept going around in circles, as I have been known to do with said person from time-to-time; we’ve talked about people in her life that have intentionally made it more difficult than it needed to be and, to be completely honest, I am having trouble fathoming it. She’s just too amazing to imagine how anyone could be so awful to her (I also know how unpleasant I’m going to be if I ever come across these people who have hurt her, in any way).

I understand that there are people in this world that cannot accept when good things happen to other people, to people whom are, specifically, a beacon of light: they emanate nothing but good and beauty; and the people that recognize in these beacons only what they themselves are not will resort to actively tearing the beacons down. And, disastrously, these people too often come close. They don’t know how strong they are, these beacons, what they are capable of and they often don’t know that the majority of the people in their lives are better because of them.

I wasn’t there before when she needed me to be there, because she needed someone who wouldn’t allow hate (for the sake only of hate) to nearly beat her, and the idea of that is crushing, just knowing that I wasn’t there, that nobody was, and knowing that I would have, simply, not allowed it, and I wouldn’t allow it now—at least now she knows that.

I suppose that what I’m getting at is stop allowing this shit to happen to good people! Geezus.

First and foremost stop being that person who might believe that in defeating others you elevate yourself because you don’t, you don’t get anything out of it, and it will, ultimately, drive you to create a fake front, change your name, and, I don’t know, take the frustrations of your failed life out on your spouse, your family, your friends and the people who otherwise give you the shred of humanity that you have left…

...and if you are someone that sees this sort of thing happening, get involved, stop letting the most amazing of us get beat down, because all these people want to do is make us better, they’re not selfish people, in fact that’s a word—selfish—that is no longer part of your vocabulary when you’re with them, all they want is to know that someone loves them and appreciates them and that they matter; and you do, the people you have around you and what you create are evidence of that. Help these people in your life to know that you appreciate them.

I’m tired of hearing about bad things happening to the people who deserve the absolute best from us, especially when they may not have been treated the way they should have, the way they have deserved to be, for most of their lives; even if it wasn’t always awful, it should have been better.

​Homework assignment for my readers: elevate somebody’s day today (every day), simply because you can. Don’t worry if you come across as foolish, do it anyway. If you can’t do something for that particular someone that you wish you could, do something for someone else and know that it was them that inspired you. And don’t post it on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook or whatever else, just do it because there are people in the world that you find awe-inspiring, and it takes a little bit of effort to keep that feeling alive.