This Flat earth Thing: Part II

“Planets are round. The Earth is not one of them.” ~ Flat Earth Twitter Handle


I was going to talk about Daniel Shenton, the Flat Earth Society President who was responsible for yet another reawakening of the Flat Earth in the early part of this century and Mark Sargent who is clearly less of a Flat Earth supporter and more of an active science denier that cares more about being famous than he does about his principles and belief systems, and then I was going to continue this series on through three parts, where I engage the mathematical evaluations of Eratosthenes and his more modern Flat Earth rivalry with Wilbur Glen Voliva but I realized, geezus, what a colossal waste of my time!

So, instead…

sit tight for the dramatic conclusion of This Flat Earth Thing!

I have continued my research on This Flat Earth Thing and the more I read about it the more absurd it gets, there is no scientific or religious argument(s) to support Flat Earthery; the two most common arguments that I run in to are:


1.) There’s no way that gravity can support the southern hemisphere from falling into the void of space.


2.) The appearances of--that the Earth is flat, while the sun and moon are spherical.


Like every conspiracy theory and Sci-Fi narrative there are pleas of reason, there is a certain degree of legitimacy to particular claims and those claims can be rationally argued and supported, however, when additional arguments are raised to counter appended Flat Earth theories instead of being substantiated, flat earth refutes are being invented, therefore you, and your senseless ideals have resolutely reached an impasse, at which point it’s time to take your ball and saunter home with your tail tucked between your legs, take responsibility for your idiocy, accept a pitch of laurel in your accountability find your nearest travel agent and see the whole baseball-shaped world.

The basis of the first argument, ironically enough, is founded on the premise that gravity must exist; it is unimaginable to Flat Earthers that space is a void, not just empty but, quite literally pointless, it is aimless, it is directionless; therefore the “southern hemisphere” isn’t actually a southern most point, it is simply a frame of reference established to provide us with a geographically universal vantage; for the argument to be validated space, itself would have to be a hoax, so the next “logical” argument for the Flat Earthery community is to suggest that we’re not actually skyrocketing upwards through space, rather that we exist in a curved-like shell resting motionless on something, “Nobody yet knows on what, exactly.” Until, that is, of course, that this shell gets up and just walks away, won't we be surprised! Taking the exposition literally is demonstrably stupid.

The second argument makes even less sense, why we would assume, if both the sun and the moon are obviously spherical that the earth is not? I cannot get past this claim. I mean, the idea is based entirely on observational ques, right? And, yet we know that things exists beyond our line of sight, because we’ve seen them, they are not simply obstructed by obstructions they just suddenly appear, as if some unexplained curvature existed in our angle of perception; if you have ever driven through the southwestern United States, or any distance greater than ten miles, you know, without a shadow of a doubt that this is true. How do these people vehemently deny that?

Clearly, Flat Earthers have nothing to actually support their belief, which is to say that this theory isn’t actually a theory or a belief at all, but rather a particularly deeply-rooted distrust in science; it’s anti-belief. It’s channeled atheism.

Or...

Although The “Flat Earth Theory” is gaining traction, yes but not because people actually believe the Earth is flat, they prefer instead to remain suspicious of governments and scientists and corporations; the Flat Earth concept is more of a facade, a guise for an ambiguous collective of conspiracy theorists who use the “Flat Earth” theory in the same way that Fight Clubs might have a secret accord: a handshake or a code word, and it’s so phenomenally absurd that it has all the rest of us going, “WTF are these people!” and leave us chasing our tails trying to find some insight as to why anyone would support such a blatantly outlandish idea that we get overwhelmingly exhausted by the nonsense and we just give up. "...no, but during a Lunar eclipse, when the Earth is between the Moon and the Sun the shadow on the Moon is rou.....AAHHHHH!!"
​     Because we all know that the first rule of such associations is that you don’t talk about it.

So, I’m just not going to talk about it…


ps. If I go missing, because I have uncovered some startling underworld truth, I want you all to know that it was the Flat Earth Society; start your inquiries with Daniel Shenton and Mark Sargent and the rest of the New Order Illuminati!

Pps. Why are there no direct flights in the Southern Hemisphere? ​