The Pen is Blue, The Pen is Blue, the Gawdamn Pen is Blue!

Do you remember that gorilla? I can’t remember his name, he dragged a toddler throughout his enclosure after the boy crawled or climbed or fell into it, and then he was shot and killed, the gorilla I mean, not the boy, that would have been a real tragedy...actually, in the world today, I’m not sure which would have created more of an outcry. Harambe, yeah...Harambe. So, here’s the thing, those of you that threw a fit about the “murder” of Harambe, he, um, well, he’s a gorilla, and you might think that you care about gorilla's but, you don’t. And, I’ll prove it to you, right now: if all the gorilla's in the world just disappeared, overnight, in some freak gorilla pandemic, that only affected gorilla's, and it didn’t go viral, if Twitter didn’t talk about it, how long before you notice?

That’s what I thought…

That’s kind of how I feel about the impeachment of Donald Trump. I was reading about it this morning, and I didn’t feel anything. Nothing in favor of-, nothing contrary to… I just, don’t care. I mean, other than the conversational aspects of American politics it has become so poignantly impassable that it doesn’t affect me in the way that it used to; granted, I may be a bit miffed by how millennial’s are affected by EVERYTHING, because you have to have an opinion about absolutely everything, and it almost always has to be in contention of the general belief but, I mean, you’re opinion, especially if you’re an archetypical millennial, because I’m not so sure that you really understand the substructure of your attitude, you’re just consumed by the notion that you are the first generation whose voice was, kind of, more overweeningly louder than those before you.

I’ve been avoiding talking about the impeachment process, and now with the impeachment, and then the senate trials coming up, which, I mean, they are not going to convict him on either count, for those of my readers that have a strong distaste for the man I get it, I don’t like the character of the man either, he’s vulgar, and if that’s something that you see, in his character, for the half of the population that actually sees it, it’s difficult to get past it, I know but, regardless, he is not going to be removed from office, and he’s not going to resign, although I’m pretty confident he will not see a reelection, still, with that said, there really isn’t anyone running against him that might win, maybe Joe Biden, maybe, although Biden is just too delicate.

Anyway…I told myself I was going to write about this when I woke up this morning so I did, however, with the morning that I had—my morning was unspeakably astounding—it didn’t really feel important enough to write about, although, with that said, the OG point of the column was founded on the basis that the impeachment itself doesn’t really matter, at least to me; I suppose, it just matters that much less…

There is so much happening right in front of us, everyday that we take for granted. The people we see every day, the conversations that we have every day, the choices we make that affect us every single day we downplay, we reduce it to the unexceptional. And that’s a choice that we’re all making every single day. I get to be astounded with my life every day that I choose to be, which is every day because of the people that I get to share it with. I sat across from someone this morning who is unfathomably important to me and I am reduced to awe, I mean, literal awe; imagine trying to express how you feel about your life simply because someone is in it, and you just can’t.

Have you seen Liar, Liar, with Jim Carrey? It’s a great movie. Throughout the movie he tries so hard to lie, there is one scene in particular when he is in his office alone, and he is trying to lie to himself about the color of a pen, and he can’t and the process that he suffers to get from point A to point B is hilarious, the same thing happens later in the courtroom when he’s trying to say something, and that’s exactly how I feel, except I’m struggling to express the truth, because there is nothing that compares to how overwhelming I feel, I have never felt it, I have never imagined it, it is unfathomable to me the love that I feel, but I keep trying to express it, and regardless of where or how I begin I always end up making a fool of myself; and I love it!

We are capable, in our humanity, of discovering and rediscovering these little meaningful truths in our day-to-day lives, but we choose instead to bicker about a broken system of phony smoke-filled political malarky, and it’s just so exhausting; how often does any of it really affect our lives? I dated a girl after high school whose father would pace behind the couch in their living room watching FOX news yelling at the TV that we should just nuke the Middle East, but the rage that fueled him was…I mean he lived in two story house with a little picket fence, in a suburban Hill Country town, the biggest issue that he faced every day was the traffic on I-10, and back then traffic between San Antonio and Boerne on I-10 meant you saw another car in your immediate vicinity, it was awful; I couldn’t even imagine the unbearable provocation of observing the existence of another human being from just far enough away to almost make out the figures on their license plate, and they were, most likely, not even terrorists, just another figurehead on his way home to yell at the TV and have a scotch on the rocks before bed.

Donald Trump might be a conversation piece but, people, pay attention to the people in your lives, you’re lucky to have them, some of you take so much for granted, and I couldn’t even express how grateful I am just to know her, let alone if I were to go to sleep next to, and wake up with the following day, to hold her when you watch TV, and to dance around our living room, all those moments that you let slip away because Donald Trump...shot a gorilla...while you stewed over presumed affluent terrorists driving a Jeep...Bandersnatch indignantly too close to you on your commute home compelling you to ignore the most beautiful sunset you might have seen since the last time you looked. 

ps. I love you.